Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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