Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
