I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
