Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
