We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think i have two assholes
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
