He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize