I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
