But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
