Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
