I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
