Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
