Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
