I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
