Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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