Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
