Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
