TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
