And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
