it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize