Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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