I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I should be sponsored by Trojan
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
