After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
