He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
