i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Even my vagina gasped.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
