Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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