you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
