i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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