It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
