So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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