My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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