i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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