No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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