ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
love makes seman taste better
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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