To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you win again, gameday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
