Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize