Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
