I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's like heaven, but drunker
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
