just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
