Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
