he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
