What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
