It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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