Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
ok first of all what the fuck
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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