your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
