That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize