Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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