she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize