You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
