You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
