Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
