I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
