you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
