I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
