ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
