dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
