Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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