I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
