Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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