dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
