a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
