I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
