I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
