Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
