Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
