sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
