I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
