All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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