wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
