i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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